Monday, January 31, 2011

My Own Little World

Matthew West has a song called My Own Little World. I love this song as at times I believe that he may have written it to describe my life. Just the title alone describes me so much that I drink my tea from a mug that says “I know I‘m in my own little world, but that‘s okay, they know me here.” That was a gift from my best friend, by the way. How often do we live in our own little worlds?

My challenge was to write about a “hot topic.” I cannot begin to tell you how much this unnerved me. To say that I was panic stricken would be understating things. My husband tried to calm me and say that the challenge was meant to get me to thinking, and that he agreed with the challenge. This would be why I prefer it in my own little world. I don’t deal well with challenge. I won’t even drive in the snow if I can at all help it. Living in my own home was enough of a daily challenge until recently, now that it’s no longer a challenge, I prefer not to leave it. I’m comfortable here.

I will have to admit a few things. I don’t watch the news unless I’m trying to catch the weather. I don’t get the newspaper and if I do pick one up, it’s for the ads and comics. As the comics no longer have For Better or For Worse even the comics hold little appeal for me. I tend to live my life within the boundaries that I’ve set for myself. My comfort zone as they say is quite comfortable. I clean my house, I read, I write, and I have lunch with friends when the weather and the budget permit it. Every other Thursday and Friday I can be found helping with two different MOPS groups as my way of giving back and helping others. I don’t follow politics and when it comes time to vote I ask my husband who he thinks will be best for the job and go place my ballot.

In my own little world population me, it’s quiet, nothing much is expected of me and there is very little chance that I can let someone down. At one time I had very big dreams. I have long since discovered something about myself that sometimes troubles me. My fears of failure are even with my fears of success. As much as I have a hard time understanding why my oldest child hates change, (hello pot have you met my kettle?) I believe she gets it honestly from me. The what ifs of life are often more than I care to think about. No one likes rejection, but what if in my fear of the unknown, failure, success, change in general, I’m prohibiting myself from becoming what God has intended for me.

In a recent book I read, the woman had to keep repeating to herself “God has not given me a spirit of fear.” I wonder if I shouldn’t be repeating this also. Perhaps in my own little world I could make some room. Make some adjustments and let go of some of the fear that binds me. How much more grace would be given if the population expanded? I guess we’ll just have to watch and see. I guess the “hot topic” will be a challenge, but one I’ll attempt.



Bekah said...

I'm so with you on the driving in snow! :) When I was in college, I found a book of turtle stickers and wrote the verse "God did not give us a spirit of timidity but of power and of love and of self-discipline" on a dozen or more cards, stuck a turtle sticker on each one, and planted them around my "life spots." Work, bathroom mirrir, dashboard of the car, above the bed...and each time I read it, I was reminded to stop shrinking back into my shell...and to live victoriously! That was when the (long process of a) change began to take place for me! (Except for snow driving, of course.)

Lainie said...

Me, TOO! I love my own little world. And I also have the equal parts fear of failure and success. Both are terrifying.
Keep up the great posts!