Friday, January 21, 2011

Snow, Miis, and Ice Cream

Before you start giving me a hard time about my opinions here, let me start by saying that yes snow is pretty. The snow arrived this last week. If you ask anyone other than me, they will tell you that it was only three to five inches and does not constitute a blizzard. If you ask me however, I would tell you that the snow was coming down in huge flakes and in my mind making roads too slick to drive on so the world as we know it should just take a few days off. In this line of logic that I use here, business' would shut down so no one would have to go to work. The kids would stay home from school and everyone would have a much needed family day courtesy of God and his wonder of snow. Those who enjoy playing in the cold white stuff would build snow men and forts and such. The likes of which the neighborhoods had yet to see. Judging would take place and a prize given to the best effort. Perhaps this is a fantasy built on watching too many children's shows or perhaps it's built on the fact I just don't like driving in it and don't think anyone else should either. Either way it does sound nice you have to admit.

I haven't seen any snowmen in the neighborhood yet. You won't find them in my yard. My children and I are not much for the cold stuff. We look outside and we are cold. So it's into the kitchen we go for hot cocoa. I have had more coffee drinks, hot cocoas, and hot tea this year than I can ever remember having. All in my quest to warm up. At the rate I'm going one of two things is bound to happen. Either I will have to move into the restroom because of all the fluids, or I'm going to gain so much weight from all the cappuccinos and cocoas I won't have to worry about keeping warm I'll be having hot flashes.

It goes without saying that I'd prefer to be making sand castles. Until I go to look on the internet as to how the weather is in other more tropical climates. Guess what? It's cold there too. Orlando was having highs in the sixties this week. I don't thaw out till at least eighty. Perhaps it's my age creeping up on me or maybe I just have a cold heart. I'd prefer to think that it's the fact that the high today was 26 degrees and with the wind chill it felt about 0. At least to me as I'm sitting in a cold car waiting in the school parking lot till time to walk up to the school and stand outside waiting for my child to come out so we can leave, that's what it felt like. Fortunately for me I have a friend who teaches my child piano so she had a nice steaming cup of cappuccino (hello cappuccino have you met my thighs?) waiting for me and a blanket in a chair by the fire to sit in and thaw while my daughter had her lesson.

In my quest to fend off the repercussions that are sure to haunt me with all of these full of fat drinks I have been consuming, I have started up on the Wii fit. The Wii fit hates me. If it is at all possible for an inanimate object to hate someone, it hates me. I was informed when I started this that it had been roughly 587 days since I had last used it. A reminder of my inability to stick with any single method to stay in shape. It also informed me I was up thirteen pounds since I had last used it. Which reminded me that I had worked my rear tail off a few years back to lose 60 lbs and swore that I would never go back and now I'm up 13. When I step on the thing it groans, furthering it's point. It has asked me if I have trouble walking and not running into things as I'm unbalanced. My center of gravity is off. Who wants to hear that? From a machine? It's one thing to go to a gym, OK I don't go to a gym but one time I did watch The Biggest Loser on TV and those trainers are tough but if you work hard they give you props. My Wii fit has a two minute run. I will run my little heart out. I'm approaching the heart attack zone and because I don't swing the little controller enough I can't get past one star. My "Mii" as they call it just drops her little head and pounds on the ground in frustration at my inability to succeed. It's not really encouraging. The only thing keeping me going is that the jeans are getting tight. I may have to resort to just warming up some water and drinking it plain with a sprinkle of Splenda to get warm.

In my twisted way of thinking, I think that at least if I had a human trainer I could visualize a target for my aggression. I could fantasize about hitting that person while doing the boxing session. These Mii's are like cartoons. You can't have that kind of fantasy with a cartoon, it doesn't work. It would be like kicking a Spongebob. While amusing after having to endure watching it with my son, it just doesn't do the trick. Spongebob is more suited to cleaning my bathroom than taking out my aggression. Those Miis could be characters in a cartoon based on the fitness of my family.

The snow while pretty is partly to blame here. It's cold and wet and makes the roads slick. While it's enjoyable to look out the window while sitting by the fire, I have no desire to go out and walk my three miles I could be walking if it were warmer. I have a theory that you lose more if you walk when it's warm because you get hot faster, thereby making you sweat more, thus losing more weight. I am sure that's not how it works, but it is my excuse none the less. Of course I am the same person who reasons that if you have fruit in your ice cream it's less fattening. Without you are asking for trouble, with you have just covered the fruit part of your nutrition scale turning the ice cream to full on dairy and no longer the sugars you don't want. So my reasoning skills may be a bit off.

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