Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Juggling

This week I have some time on my hands. This week I can afford to be sick or accidentally injure myself while trying to prepare a meal, check homework, and listen to a recount on the days events at school. Last week I did not. Last week is when I had the list of things I had volunteered for, all the things I didn’t volunteer for but said I’d do anyway, and the unexpected thing all come to a head.

You know that expression “don’t drop the ball”? As I think back I think of all these things on my to do list as balls. As if in this circus we call life we are just trying to juggle them all without letting one drop. Up goes one ball, the bible study ball need to get my quiet time in and my homework done. Up goes another ball, the family ball, need to take care of the hubby and kids. Up goes another ball, the household ball, need to get my chores done and the meals prepared. Up goes another ball, the extended family and friends ball, need to make the calls and uplift in any way I can. But this week was different we have lost a loved one in the family and a friend lost a beloved mother. So Up goes another ball, the funeral, be strong and hold yourself and everyone else together ball, work in the visitations and funerals. Up goes the volunteer ball, two groups of MOPS meeting need to take care of those kiddos. Up goes the volunteer ball again, working the school book fair two days. Up goes …. As you can see the balls just keep coming, they just add up and you balance. Last week it felt a bit like I was balancing on a big ball like The Cat in the Hat with more things, more balls, to juggle being thrown at me from every direction. Add in there the accident that took me to the ER and the consequent doctor’s appointment and the sore throat and cold that set in and I was starting to wobble and lose balance.

As it turns out of course I didn’t slow down or stop moving like I was told to do so I could get better more quickly. As a child I was quite stubborn and I obviously haven’t grown out of it. Plus I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that my husband never slows down when he is sick. He says it’s mind over matter if you don’t accept it, you won’t be sick and you can just keep going. So I kept going. By Saturday I was even more of a mess. Here I am with a bandaged finger (hence the ER visit a good point in the favor of why I do not belong in a kitchen around sharp objects), sounding like my throat was grated with a cheese grater and I wake up to an eye swollen shut. Ah, so when they said I should rest and let myself heal that’s what they meant. You know those people who sometimes need to be hit over the head until they get it? That would be me. Especially when it comes to me. Because of course I can do it all, and I can do it all myself, I don’t need any help, in fact what are you doing? Cause maybe I should just do it myself that way I’ll know it’s done right. Anyone? Or is that just me?

So in my quiet time I kept hearing this word being whispered to me this week. Juggling. How often do we just keep juggling without asking for help or for strength to do the things we think we need to be doing. I don’t like to disappoint people. I juggle. So I hear God whispering you’re juggling Heather. Then the vision comes of me juggling all the balls. And I still didn’t ask for help because I was sure I had it covered. But had I listened to God, had I listened to the doctor, had I listened to my husband, I can’t help but wonder how much better I’d be feeling even today, after yet another doctors appointment. I believe that we get so busy these days that sometimes with our eyes wide open we can only see the “stuff” we have to do, or the “stuff” that is getting in our way. This society that we live in is so busy that we don’t stop, we keep pushing and going forward. Psalm 46:10 says “Be still, and know that I am God.” Maybe sometimes only with our eyes closed can we be still long enough to know that He is God, and even if we think we may have things in control, we don’t, but that’s OK He has it. He’s got this.

So lessons for the week: Stop juggling unless your are in a clown suit and wearing a red nose. There is no need to juggle unprepared and unqualified. So when you get yourself juggling and you need help and you have a Heavenly Father waiting for you to ask Him to help you, it’s probably best to “phone home ET.”

Dear Lord, Thank you for the lessons you teach me. Help me to never get so busy that I don’t take time to stop and ask You for help when I need it. Thank you for closing my eyes so I could be still long enough to know that You are God and You have everything under control. In Your Holy name I pray. Amen.

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