Monday, September 17, 2012

My Notebook

I once heard that if you wanted to be a writer, that you should carry a notebook around with you at all times.  I guess the thought is, you NEVER know when inspiration will strike.  So, it didn’t take long before I had one on me almost every moment.  When I was younger and single, the notebook was usually a full size, college ruled notebook (you know, the kind you can get for $.10 a piece at school time).  After I got married, my husband hated to have all the notebooks around (I believe he called me a “hoarder”), so I started carrying small notebooks that I could hide away in my purse.

One of my coworkers once told me that he had never seen someone that ALWAYS carried paper and pens of some kind with them.  It didn’t matter what we were doing, I had some kind of paper and pencil in my hand.  Now, this came in handy in a few meetings where something unexpected came up that I needed to write down but most of the time there wasn’t a lot  of inspiration going on in those meetings.

Unfortunately, it seems that lately my notebooks have become less about inspiration for stories…and more about to do lists.  I am the type of person that will obsess about something that I need to do and will think about it until I completely block out what I am supposed to be doing or listening to, so I have felt that, if I can write this thing down, then it is out of my mind and I can focus again.

With life as crazy as it is (with my husband and three children, church, school, work, interviews, packing the house, looking for houses in a different city, etc.) all I ever seem to get done is making to do lists.

Sometimes, I do write a prayer or two in my notebook.  Usually those are me at a point in my life that I am exhausted, discouraged or angry and just need to SEE my words written out, rather than just saying them in my head or whispering them in prayer.

Sometimes, I have started writing in a notebook having the lofty goal of journaling every day.  Of course, that usually only lasts a few days and then I stop that…and the to do lists takes over again.

It is a little discouraging, actually, to look back through my notebooks and only see a lot of stuff that I planned on getting done, but it didn’t happen or that took MUCH longer than I had expected.

I really want to get my notebook back to a place of inspiration for me, not a place of work…Maybe I should get a SECOND notebook for the to do lists?

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