You may find the title of this blog odd, but I have to tell you that these three things have been at the forefront of my mind this week. These three recent elements in my life have made me come to grips with the fact that I am not as young as I used to be and that I’m never going to be anything but old from this point forward.
Our worship pastor and his wife have just had their second child this week. We were chosen to watch their eighteen month old for the last few days. I love him, almost like a grandson, but I have decided, though I care for him deeply, I am not cut out to be a 56-year-old parent. The sheer energy it takes to keep up with a walking (mostly running) 18-month-old is more than my wife and I have added together. God certainly knew what He was doing when He arranged for people to have their children in the earlier years of life.
Then today I had a doctor’s appointment. I am usually concerned about two things when I go to the doctor…my weight and my blood pressure. I have always had to deal with being overweight but when I was young, six months of dieting would net nice results and reassure me that I could lose the weight anytime I wanted to or needed to. That is until recently. Now six months of dieting just makes me frustrated with the stubbornness of “old fat” and I have come to realize that my lifelong dream of being skinny and buff is just that, the dream of a much younger man.
Because of my family history with high blood pressure I’m always afraid that although I’ve had no personal history of hypertension, that one day I will blow the bulb off the blood pressure cuff and have to start being medicated. Today, as I sat waiting for the doctor I did deep breathing exercises to try to calm myself down so that my medical insurance premiums wouldn’t reflect the added risk of a 150/100 blood pressure reading. The deep breathing must have worked because my BP was lower than it had been in years…120/71!
Then I sat answering questions from the Physician’s Assistant about all the things about my body that don’t work anymore, or work when they’re not supposed to, or things that are growing where they’re not supposed to grow…etc. If it’s true you’re only as old as you feel then I’m in big trouble. I left the office feeling about 82 today.
I know everyone gets old, and I knew I would get old someday too. I just thought I had a few more good years left before the process got going to this extent. I’m not really buying the whole idea of “you’re not getting older, you’re getting better.” I’m not a wine drinker but I’m told it works that way for wine. For people though, I think it’s more like old cheese. It just starts to mold. Yes, that’s it; I’m not getting older... I’m getting “molder.”
Well, it’s off to buy some prunes. Until next time.